Tidus goes to see Harry Potter rewritten
by Drunk Dude Auron
Summary: OneshotThis is the improved version of my first FF. Tidus wants to go watch a movie called Harry Potter and the evil twin but why can't he book on the net?


**Tidus Goes To****See Harry Potter**

One day Tidus was watching TV when he saw a TV ad about the new movie called 'Harry Potter and the Evil Twin'.

"I shall go watch it!" Tidus said heroically.

At the end of the ad it said go to and order tickets for half the price!

"I must and will go see that movie…but I'm too poor to watch it, Jecht took my only 2 million dollar coin…humph!" "Wait, before it said I can buy it for half of $20.

**At the computer.**

"Hmmm…how do I turn on the computer?" asked Tidus. "Wait I can call nerdy Seymour".

**At the Phone.**

"Hmmm…how do I call people?" Tidus asked himself "Hey I can go to Yuna's house and ask her how to use the phone…Her house is somewhere in Besaid isn't it? I'll just go and walk all the way to Besaid…that seems easy".

**Outside.**

"Ok this is the big city I'm in now... and I don't know which way to go… but luckily I brought with me a map…hmm…which way is north?" Tidus asked.

"Yo, Teedo, it's me Cloud…yeah" said Cloud, the famous guy.

"When did you start talking like Reno?" asked Tidus.

"Dunno" answered Cloud.

"And never seen you around in Final Fantasy X before," asked Tidus.

"I immigrated to Final Fantasy X just recently…"

"How?" Tidus asked surprised.

"What am I? A doctor?" Cloud replied.

"But I asked how y--" Tidus was interrupted by cloud.

"Oh look at the time I gotta go meet my friend Joseph at Toys 'r' us now bye".

"See ya" said Tidus. "Now where is north" Tidus looked around for a while and said "Well I give up, I'll just call Nerdy Seymour to come and show me how to go onto the innanet".

**At the phone in Tidus' house.**

"Ok I need to find a word that is spelt c-mor hmmm… there is Seymour but it's not right…oh theirs a Cinmo Company well I think that's him. Ok its…1-3 double 0-6 triple 5-06".

"Hello this is the Cinmo Company, we help you by telling the phone number of people that you know but do not know their phone number" said the Cinmo company guy.

"Uh… I think I've got the wrong number so bye" said Tidus. Tidus hung up and tried to find another name that looks similar to C-mor. I think I found it…it's the Centimetre Company 1-3 double 0 double 6" Tidus dialled the number.

"Hello this is the Centimetre Company" said the guy.

"I've got the wrong number" Tidus said getting angry. "Ok let's call say-mo-err (sey-mo-ur) 1-2-3-1-2-3-4-5-6 that's easy.

"Hello heh, heh this is Seymour" Seymour said in a nerdy voice.

"Oh hey it's you Seymour how ya bin?" said Tidus trying to be cool.

"You are not supposed to be saying 'bin', it is supposed to be been" Seymour corrected Tidus.

"What ever… I was just wondering if you could come over to show me how to turn on the computer and use the internet" said Tidus quickly.

"Well, I have to ask mother and father first" answered Seymour.

"WHAT?! You have to ask? You are so uncool" said Tidus.

"Well wait while I ask my parents" said Seymour.

"Ok but quick" said Tidus.

Approximately 50 minutes later Seymour came back.

"So?" asked Tidus quickly.

"They said yes, only if your mum or dad says yes," replied Seymour.

"Oh I'll… uh… go ask my dad now… not," said Tidus.

"Um…why did you say not in that sentence?" asked Seymour confusedly.

"Nothin," replied Tidus.

"You forgot the 'g' in the nothing," Said Seymour.

"Ok, ok, ok I really need to go ask my dad now…not," said Tidus.

Tidus went off pretending to ask Jecht and came back again.

"Ok he said yes"

"Well your house is right next to mine so I'll be there in a few seconds."

"What?!"

**At the computer.**

The door bell rang and Tidus went to open it. "Hi my fellow friend Tidus," said Seymour.

"Uh what ever now let's just go to the computer," said Tidus excitedly.

"This button turns on the computer and…WHAT! You've only got dial up?" said Seymour, surprised.

"What's dillup?" said Tidus confusedly.

"Don't worry…well lets get you on the internet you click this and you click dial that's easy," said Seymour.

"Huh? Can you write that down?" asked Tidus.

"Yes, I certainly can, I have always wanted you to ask me that" Seymour said happily.

**At Tidus' messy breakfast table**

"I have finished writing down your instructions…And can I ask you a question?" Seymour asked Tidus.

"Yeah go ahead," answered Tidus.

"Why, is your breakfast table so messy and has beer cans on it?" asked Seymour.

"The old man drinks and gets drunk while playing the PS one" answered Tidus.

Seymour said nothing.

"You should be getting home now," suggested Tidus.

**On the computer without Seymour**

"Bye Seymour" said Tidus. "Ok it's back to the computer and the net now" said Tidus to himself. "Ok I turn on the computer and now dial...ok it's doing something… I'm on now, now lets go on here I am…it says buy it now on online half price! So what's half of $20.00? hey it says its only $10.00 if you buy it online! Cool… but how am I supposed to get the money? Jecht's draw."

**Jecht's draw**

"Hmmm…I can't find any money here…" said Tidus.

"Hey, Hey! Krusty the clown here now you kids want to see an Itchy and Scratchy cartoon?" said Krusty from the T.V. "YES!" shouted the kids from the T.V.

"Jecht must be watching The Simpsons right now" thought Tidus.

"HA, HA, HA!" laughed Jecht.

"The Simpsons episode today must be really" said Tidus to himself.

"I love the Simpsons!" shouted Jecht.

**A few minutes later **

Tidus finally said "Yes! I found money". "I should be going back to the net now," said Tidus running to the computer.

**At the computer**

"Ok now I press buy now and it will come on the 4th of august…yes I'm going to see Harry Potter and the evil twin," said Tidus in excitement.

**On the 1st of August**

Hello the ticket will be $12.95 thank you," said the delivery guy.

"WHAT! It said it was $10.00! You ripper," shouted Tidus.

"No, but the delivery is $2.95" said the delivery guy.

"Oh…I knew that I was just…uh… testing you…well here you go" said Tidus.

"Dick" the delivery guy said while walking off.

**At the movies on the 4th of August**

"I have to wait exactly 33 minutes to go," said Tidus.

"Hey Tidus, member me dude?" asked Cloud trying to be cool.

"Uh… hey Cloud…" said Tidus annoyed.

"What you watching yo… you watching Super Mario VS the Naruto? Uh… no your gonna watch The Drunk, The Dead and The Drunk but Dead Guy Auron" guessed Cloud, the cool guy.

"Uh… no I'm watching… uh… Harry Potter and The Evil Twin" said Tidus.

"HUH? Your watching that baby MA movie?" said Cloud, the cool guy in a shocked voice.

"Well then lets see what you and your boyfriend Joseph are watching" said Tidus angrily.

"We're watching Teletubies the movie!" shouted Cloud, the cool guy so everyone could hear.

"Look mummy his watching Teletubies the movie too!" said a little girl walking with her mother.

"You stink!" shouted a man walking pass.

"Hey! My armpit does not smell! Hey you bastard you got the wrong guy!" yelled Cloud, the cool guy running off towards the man.

**Exactly 11 minutes later**

"Yes! His gone and there is only 22 minutes to go! And also that bastard Cloud is gone.

"What did you call me!" shouted familiar voice.

"Oh no he's back and he's mental! I do have another 20 minutes to go so I'll… RUN!" Tidus shouted.

**Away from Cloud**

"Yes his gone…uh…THERES ONLY 4 MINUTES LEFT and I'm lost here AAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!" shouted Tidus. "Oh wait there it is."

**Outside of the cinemas**

"I never knew Dumbledore was Luke Skywalker's father" said Tidus to himself.

"Hey you!" said a man behind Tidus.

"Yeah what"

"DO NOT SPOIL THE MOVIE!"

"Well, sorry" Apologized Tidus. "It was so cool when Harry Potter killed Darth Vader"

"Read my lips kid, DO NOT SPOIL THE MOVIE!"

"Sorry…uh…can I talk about the movie when I get home?"

"Uh…I'll have to think about that" the guy answered.

"My favourite bit was when Obi Wan was duelling Voldermort and Obi Wan used Avada Kadavra on Voldermort" said Tidus as he got in the house.

"NO!!!!!!!!!!" shouted Jecht "I never knew this day would come!"

"Uh-oh…"

"The day has come! I have spent my $12.95 in my sleep! Now I have to hang myself" sobbed Jecht.

"YES! Jecht's gonna hang himself!"

"Or maybe I didn't spend the money when I was asleep…" thought Jecht. "This house must be haunted…"

"Awww… Pa's not gonna hang himself" Tidus said sadly.

"Hey boy!" called Jecht.

"Yeah what?" asked Tidus.

"I'm gonna move out because uh…the house is haunt- uh… I mean I'm moving out so you can have… uh… more room! Yeah…" lied Jecht.

"Why do you suddenly want to give me more room?"

"Come in here boy and I'll tell you" "phew… that'll buy me some time to think of an answer" Jecht said under his breath.

Tidus ran into Jecht's room.

"You know how I've been trying to kill you all these years son?"

"You have?" Tidus asked surprised.

"Yes I have son, yes I have…" Jecht answered emotionally. "Well on the happy side of the bread you get more room!"

"Uh… you still haven't told me why you want me to have more room dad,"

"Haven't I Tidose, Haven't I?"

"It's Tidus!" corrected Tidus.

"Oh sorry son… well anyways I wanted you to have more room because I love you…"

"But you've always said you hated me,"

Jecht was silent.

"Dad?"

"I'll tell you when I finish packing my things… while you wait go outside and play soccer with Joseph, Nerdy Seymour and Cloud, the cool guy."

"Dad, don't you remember we live in Spira? There is no soccer in Spira the only sport is Blitzball!"

"Uh… yeah… Do you want to help me pack instead?

"Yeah sure…Dad where are you gonna stay?" asked Tidus.

"I'm going to live with my cousin Tarzan in Disney World."

"You have a cousin called Tarzan who lives in Disney World?"

"Yes I do."

The next day Jecht swims to Disney World and Tidus lives happily ever after… And that guy Seymour, he died while being goal keeper in soccer.


End file.
